three opinions

Alright, y’all. A lot of people have been asking me my opinions about the abortion bills being passed, the controversies going on in our nation, and where my faith stands.

As a disclaimer, I am completely aware that not all of you will agree with what I have to say. I, for one, get the fact that there is absolutely no way every single person in our country will be able to agree with each other because we all have differing opinions. We all want what we deem is best, and that will change from person to person simply because we have experiences that vary drastically.

Therefore, please be considerate and take note that I do NOT claim to understand what you have been through. Maybe I’ve gone through similar things, maybe not. I am not judging anyone here because I know I do not have the right to do so. I believe that only God can judge, so I am leaving that part up to Him. I serve a gracious, understanding, and loving God who knows exactly what every human being in the world has been through. He’s seen your heartache and listened to your heart shatter into a thousand tiny pieces.

So with that, let’s dig in.

1. I Am Pro-Circumstances

I want to start off with the statement that for a long time I didn’t believe in abortions, and for the most part, I still don’t. However, I understand that circumstances may make a world of a difference. For those who have gotten pregnant from rape or sexual abuse, I am so incredibly sorry for what you have been through. I cannot imagine the pain you must have felt when you received that positive test. NO ONE should have to go through that. Just know that I hear your argument, whatever it may be. Know that you’re not alone in your grief, and you have hundreds of thousands of men and women rooting for you to stand up for what you believe. I stand with you.

2. I Am Pro-Life

The second statement I want to bring to the table is that I also understand the “conservative” perspective that if a woman doesn’t want to get pregnant, she shouldn’t be having sex. However, I think this is almost more controversial because God gives us free will to live our lives according to what we think is best. Of course, He definitely wants us to believe in Him and live according to His purposes, but I get the fact that not everyone is going to do this. Therefore, I also believe that we shouldn’t be imposing our ideas and thought processes on people who don’t believe. We are called to love every person regardless of who they are and where they stand. So yes, I do stand with abstinence. But I also stand with free will.

3. I Am Pro-Freedom

Now for my third and final point. This is especially hard for me to write, so if you would like to hear more about my story, you can ask me in person.

When I was in college, I experienced a lot of abuse. From five different people to be exact. It was gut-wrenching, manipulative, and for a long time, held me captive. I felt as though soul ties were connecting me to my past and there was nothing I could do to free myself from them. I would pray, seek counsel, read books; I did everything I could. It wasn’t until I learned to forgive myself that those chains finally broke. Comprehending the fact that what happened wasn’t my fault, I didn’t have control over the situations, and I did the best I could with the knowledge I had then, really helped me wrap my head around what I like to call “personal grace”. We already receive grace from God, but from a psychological perspective, it doesn’t matter to our imperfect minds how much someone else forgives us. If we don’t learn to forgive ourselves, our pasts will keep haunting us.

I have two reasons why I share this with you. I am one of those women who stayed silent and regrets it. I am one of those women who should have said #MeToo but didn’t. I am one of those women who felt like she was alone for three years because I was continually being told that my story was “too graphic”, it was labeled as a farce, or that everything was my fault.

I am also adopted. For those of you who don’t know, my mother gave birth to me when she was about forty-five years old. She knew she couldn’t give me a good life and actively pursued providing for me in another way. She had children of her own already, but couldn’t manage having another at her age. She debated getting an abortion but met my parents instead. You have no idea how thankful I am that she made the decision she did.

So after all this, I guess I don’t know which side I stand on. But does it really matter? Shouldn’t we be willing to hear what everyone has to say instead of putting our own opinions up on a pedestal and ignoring everyone else who doesn’t agree?

My challenge to you all is this: to my Christian readers, dig deep into the Word and pray about how the Lord is convicting you in this subject. Be open-minded and open-hearted; understand that God has never called you to push your faith on others and that you are called to live at peace with as many people as possible. Listen to others’ perspectives. Offer love, forgiveness if needed, and compassion. Try to be like Jesus this week.

To my non-Christian readers, please bear with the unforgiving, rude, selfish, and frustrating people who try to shove their opinions on you. Many of them haven’t experienced what you have, and you need to know that. Forgive them because they don’t come from the same background as you. Realize that not everyone is going to agree with you, but DO stand up for yourself. There are many of us who can’t stand up for ourselves, and take it from me: we REALLY appreciate you being strong when others can’t.

To both sides: don’t push others down when they don’t see eye-to-eye with you because they can’t. Live by one of the golden rules: treat others as you want to be treated.