identity

how to deal with the lies of comparison

I think we can all agree there are many reasons to both love and hate social media!

Recently I was scrolling through Facebook and I noticed a friends had posted something vulnerable, sharing her heart with her network. She received incredible feedback and loads of support. Normally I would be supportive and loving, but before I knew it, I found myself battling with jealously and hatred for that friend because just a few weeks ago, I had blogged about the exact same thing and received not nearly the amount of praise or recognition.

Friends, how often do we catch ourselves doing this? We scramble to put together eloquent words that will impress an audience, draw a crowd, and give us attention that we shouldn’t be seeking from broken relationships. What we define and demand as perfection from imperfect people will ultimately lead us down a road of disappointment so deep, it’ll take years to find our way back.

I have been struggling with comparison and the anxiety that sprouts from that for the past fifteen years, and let me tell you, it’s no war easily won. There are days where I can snap myself out of that mindset, shake my head around, and move on. But there are also days where I find myself winding down a rabbit hole and all of a sudden feel so depressed and frustrated that I practically throw my phone across the room and forget to write for days or even weeks!

Comparison doesn’t just mess with our mind; it disturbs our way of life; it changes us! When we feel inadequate, we lose motivation to do the things we normally find excitement over, like reading, writing, exploring, and even simple things like hanging out with friends!

For example, when I’m dealing with a bout of over-analyzing, I often discover my desire to get out of bed, to go run errands, to create content for y’all, all goes down the toilet. My mind screams that I’ll never be good enough or measure up, so why make the effort if you’re just going to fail?

Even though I still push against this, one thing I’ve learned is it’s completely, totally, 100% okay to fail. It’s okay to not measure up. It’s okay to not be as good as the person next to you. And you wanna know why?

Because you aren’t them, and you never will be.

I’ve learned that God has given me gifts, talents, and passions for things in ways no one else can understand. Our concoction of interests was perfectly crafted to create a beautiful identity in Christ that perfectly serves His church in a way NO ONE ELSE CAN.

So friends, the next time you catch yourself wishing you were like your bestie, or that one YouTuber, or that one Instagram blogger, take a step back and breathe. Remember your exact makeup is just the way God wants you to be, and that’s okay. Dive deep into what you love and go wild in it. Pray about how God can use your emotions and connections to things around you to serve Him and further His Kingdom.

And when you ask that, I can promise you that God will deliver, and in ways you never thought possible.