Have you ever felt as though God is inspiring you to do something crazy and no matter how nuts it may seem, that calling won’t go away? What would you do if all of a sudden that calling changes?
Honestly, if it were me, I’d be lost, confused, and even frustrated because after all that effort to pursue Him and say “yes”, it’s like none of it mattered. Like what the heck, God?! Did I just waste my time?
How about this: God calls you to move across the country for something you’ve been dreaming about your entire life. You’ve been praying on how to pursue this, but for the longest time, even years, nothing happens. You have no connections, you are under-educated, and it appears as though God is closing the door forever.
Then all of a sudden the tiniest light shines through the dustiest of windows; a breath of fresh air wafts over you and you are overcome with emotion. You follow this trail, wondering where it’s coming from and where it might lead you. And there, right in front of you, lays that one picture perfect life you’ve had in your head for the past fifteen years.
So, naturally, you’d jump for joy! God has FINALLY heard you, and He’s giving you exactly what you’ve always want! More and more doors are opening, and you take this as a sign that God might in fact be providing for you. You can barely contain your excitement!
The next year follows with people left and right commending you for following your dream and obtaining all you’ve ever wanted right out of college. You’re engaged, you’re making friends, you get to go to Disney whenever you want, you live across the street from the beach. Could the blessings ever end?
And then, just like that, things start to fall apart: cross-country wedding planning gets stressful, demands begin to mount, and you struggle even in your simplest areas of life.
Suddenly your fiancé can’t seem to find a job in the state which you both were so excited to begin your new lives together. He feels discouraged, and there’s nothing you can do. Rejection letters pile up, along with stress at work. Taking deep breaths, you know that God is just allowing this challenge in your relationship so you can learn how to effectively and healthfully communicate from long distances.
But it’s not over; sooner or later you begin to wonder if separating from family and hometown friends for your first year of marriage is really best. You begin to wonder, “God, why are you putting these trials in our path if this dream is what you wanted for us?”
And then it hits you: what if this was just a chapter in your own life to discover yourself, to learn how to love your future spouse unconditionally while you are apart for fourteen months, and to try something you would otherwise think was an impossible dream? What if, in the midst of all this chaos, God was actually preparing you to trust Him because He knew this wasn’t your best life? What if, in His perfect love for you, He have you exactly what you prayed for just so you can realize that maybe it was never what you wanted to begin with?
Looking back, you start to see the truth: yes, this was your dream, but it wasn’t your destiny. Just because you got what you wanted doesn’t mean it’s what was best for you. Just because God gives you something great, doesn’t mean He doesn’t have something even greater.
When God changed the course of my life, it was heartbreaking. I had worked so hard to get to where I was; I didn’t want to give up the impressive title and I was terrified that I would disappoint not only my family and friends, but God Himself. I was afraid I was “giving up”, admitting it was too hard for me, and it was the only reason I was leaving; it felt as though I was leaning on the reason that my fiancé couldn’t find a job just so I could get out of the one I had. But no, friends. None of those thoughts or voices were true in the slightest.
As I reflect on these past 365 days, I couldn’t be more thankful for the gifts God has provided me. This has been the most incredible year of my life, even though it’s been filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. There were times I cried myself to sleep because I felt like God was abandoning me; and at the same time, there were other days I was practically in denial of all the wonderful things He was bestowing upon me.
When one door closes, another opens; while my dream of working for the space industry might not have turned out just the way I liked, there has been another dream of mine lurking even longer: that of writing and of architecture. God has been incredible in opening a door to become published not just once, but THREE times in Ezer Magazine, and has brought me back to the Design Field where, for the time being, I truly belong.
Friends, don’t lose hope when God decides to change your path. Just because you’re on a road right now doesn’t mean that’s where you’ll end up for the rest of your life!
And so, with the heaviest of hearts, I need to leave the wonderful sunshine state of Florida. I am sent with tears filling my eyes both with happiness and the deepest despair. God has cultivated life-long friendships in both places, and I know He will use my time for His good. His Word never returns void, and for now, that’s all I have to lean on. He desires to bless us and to call us blessed, so why are we so quick to forget that?
Even in the midst of my sadness in leaving, I could not be more joyful to return to Buckeye Nation.
And whole crowd screams:
“O-H!”
“I-O!”
making mustard seeds 